i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
