The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize