it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
