yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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