i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
