U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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