i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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