i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize