My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
