Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
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The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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