I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
