There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
