Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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