hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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