you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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