As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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