I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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