I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
