I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
