Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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