just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
