I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
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I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
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my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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