Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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