I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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