It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
