This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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