Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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