somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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