out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
