I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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