So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
