But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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