so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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