she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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