I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My feet surprised me
Randomize
