uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
