marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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