We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
