I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
