dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize