We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
