My hand turned me down
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she looked like the before picture.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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