Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
