After last night, I could never be a politician.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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