Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
