What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
