Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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