So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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