somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just had sex on a roof
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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