Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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