i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
