i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
