I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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