Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
