It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
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She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
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THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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