I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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