half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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