the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
