You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize