hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
