who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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